12/13

something old, something new

for the first time in 7 years, I feel fully here.

This playful, this joy, this girl who big belly laughs and kisses without hesitation, dances wild and knows her worth. With big windows and an ocean view, a rent more than she’s used to but willing to work. I have my vitality back. My efforts and initiations justified by this ‘finish line’. Comically, it’s just the beginning.

The way my toes rest up against the kitchen table as I type, with ease and purpose. Such a simple thing so stark to me, in my becoming. The simple things, like the way I feel satisfied by the fog, and the ecstasy of an almond chocolate croissant from the local bakery. And the way I let myself soften when he had his arm around me.

The stillness of things that are lived with intention. That clean kitchen, that warm tea, that Bossa nova on the T.V. like low-key, high frequency, finally living in harmony.